Back in Fort Wayne

Just wanted to let my few readers know that I am back in Fort Wayne now. I got back late last night; just in time to go to bed so I could get up and come to work at 4:30am this morning.

My grandmother is still with us, but that is subject to change at any time. I must say I have never seen her look as bad as she does now, and I really don't expect her to be around much longer. I am honestly hoping, for her sake and everyone elses, that she will pass fairly soon. She is suffering, and is quite miserable. She has no quality of life being bed-ridden now, and unable to do much more than lay there.

I was in Louisville from Thursday afternoon until Sunday afternoon, and the whole time I was there I kept wishing that it would just end while I was down there. I hate the idea of having to return to Fort Wayne, only to be called back to Louisville a few days or so later.

I made the decision to return to Fort Wayne, based on the fact that there really isn't anything that I can do down there, other than sit and wait for her to die. Since I have work, and other obligations here in Fort Wayne, I felt it best that I just come back up here and get on with things until I have to return to Louisville for the funeral.

Despite knowing that there was nothing I could do there, and that my grandmother wouldn't want me to sit there worrying, it was very difficult for me to leave. I was in tears when I got to the car, and I must also say that it takes a lot to make me cry. I know in my heart, that yesterday afternoon was the last time that I will ever see her alive. I can't begin to describe how much it hurts me to know that.

So, it's a painful waiting game now. Just a matter of time before she is gone, and I receive that phone call. I am not looking forward to it, but I am expecting it and am prepared to deal with it when it comes.

Please keep all of us in prayer as we trudge through the rough days ahead.