Things You Don't Want to Hear from Tech Support

Things You Don't Want To Hear From Technical Support
"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"
* "That's right, not even McGyver could fix it."
* "So -- what are you wearing?"
* "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"
* "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap'n."
* "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."
* "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery."
* "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."
* "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"
* "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."
* "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."